this joke always makes me laugh

A man goes into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus on the stool next to him and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him for a while then says,"OK I give up, what's with the octopus?" The man says,"Well, I'll bet you $50 that this here octopus can play ANY instrument you give him better than ANYONE you've ever heard!"
A man sitting in the corner of the room overhears and brings over a guitar. "Here you go then, lets see him play this". He gives the guitar to the octopus, who stares at it for a while, before playing the most amazing tune any of them have heard. "Wow, here's your $50 buddy!"
Another man walks over to see what all the fuss is about. He brings his saxaphone with him and hands it to the octopus. "Anyone can play a guitar - let's see him play this!" Again the octopus looks at the instrument for a few seconds before amazing them with his talent.
Finally a Scotsman walks over with some bagpipes. "Ach, I bet he canne play this now". The octopus picks up the bagpipes, studies it, turning it over and over. "See! He's stumped! I knew he couldn't play it!", says the Scotsman.
"Play it?", says the octopus,"I'm gonna do more than play it once i figure out how to get these damn pajamas off!"

I think one of the best feeling in the world is when you get up in the middle of a very cold night to get a drink. you tiptoe to the fridge in your knickers, careful not to bump into anything. You take a sip and your body is instantly riddled with goosebumps. you tiptoe back to bed and when you get in, the heat from your body still lingers in the sheets. When the heat meets your cold skin the feeling is wonderful. You melt back to sleep.